Before the Rains Return

Yesterday we had a break in the rain, after a few long days. Cabin fever had kicked in, so waking to sunlight had us all happily getting outside as early as possible. Even Piper enjoyed the weather.

Honeysuckle in bloom. A walk around the neighborhood. Trike rides. Jump rope. And bunches of snails. A quick Google search and instructions for a snail habitat were found. Bare feet in the grass. Mud puddles. Jackets shed quickly. Two trips outside to play. Only lunch, and naps, in interrupt the day.

Play hard. Suck up the sun. More rain expected, before the evening was done. 

Another quick shower. The dark rolled in. And hour later the sun again. 

A double Rainbow graced the sky. Dark clouds out back. Blue skies and sun in front. 

I couldn't resist. My toes in the muddy puddle. 

More rain expected in the next few days. But the sun came out yesterday. And stayed for today.

{this moment}

Joining Amanda at Soulemama for

{this moment}

A Friday ritual.

 One photo-No words-Capturing a moment from the week.

 A simple, special, extraordinary moment.

A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

Rice Experiment Week 2

Last week I made our rice to participate in Rachel's, (from Clean), I Love You/I Hate You Rice Experiment. This whole week we've putting our Love and Hate energy into the jars. Well mostly myself, Chris and a kid or two on occasion. We all observed we were definitely putting more energy into the Hate jar than the Love. This shows mixed things. You can either see it as not being able to share our Love and joy, or that by having a tangible thing to put our Hate energy into, we were able to not spread it to each other. The visual reminder helping to keep it from those around us. And we were able to spread the Love easier amongst ourselves.

We definitely have mold. And I think we all expected to see some in the Hate jar first. As this is where all this negative energy is held. But so far no mold in the Hate jar. 

The first to show signs was the neutral jar. There was fuzzies beginning by Tuesday, and full blown mold Wednesday. Today, Saturday, there's a  nice (ick) ball smack dab in the middle.

The I Love You jar started to mold on Wednesday. And was noticeable Thursday. It isn't as moldy as the neutral jar today. The growth is slower.

They were all kept in the same place. On the kitchen counter, out of direct sunlight. None of them were opened. The only time anyone touched the neutral jar was to move it out of the way, when wiping down the counters, or to get to the flour/sugar canisters.

I tried to put equal energy into both jars. Chris says he used the Hate jar more often, directing his anger and frustrations into the jar. He admitted to actually shaking the jar when using it. This probably had something to do with the mold growth. (In his defense I didn't actually say to NOT shake the contents, just to put that energy into it.)

I think the results are decidedly different than we expected. Most of us thought all the bad energy we put into the Hate jar would cause it to mold faster. But maybe the neglect of the Love jar had more of an effect. Then there's the environment factor. Being in Tennessee our weather is warmer, and more humid (at the moment).

Our house sits at about 75-76 degrees day and night. And we have had a fair amount of humidity the past week. (Leading up to this weekend's expected rain.)

I'm going to continue the experiment, see how long it takes for the Hate jar to start molding. Today at day 7 there still is no mold. 

I'll update again next weekend.

I Love You~ I Hate You Rice Experiment (Clean)

I grew up with my mom teaching me, the energy we put into things has an effect on everything. The energy, intentions, one puts in to a garden can produce larger yeilds. What we put out into the world we get back. 

(Here I want to insert a very good book, Celestine Prophercy, that talks about, and teaches, how this works, how we can use it in our lives, and how we can see it working around us. I learned so much from this book. Yes it's a "story", but again the author's intent, that he put into it, is clear. He's teachings come through loud and clear.)

I firmly believe this, and try to live it, and teach it to my children. But I don't always live it. I often forget. And use words, energy, feelings in ways I really shouldn't. I remember when things are going well. When there are reminders around me. I feel like a bit of a hypocrite at times. 

Rachel from Clean  posted an experiment, and asked for us to join her in it. 

From her post- "Even more than spoken words, our feeling also shape us. 

They set the tone of our days - of our lives.

When you've been frustrated, angry, afraid you carry that energy throughout your whole day and soon everything in view is colored by your mood.

The same is true for the days when we're steeped in gratitude and joy. Blessings are everywhere. The world sparkles with magic."

This is oh so true. And here I've been given a way to show my children visually how it works. And also remind myself of something I believe to my core. That I want to try harder to do daily.

So this morning when Rachel posted to her fb page a reminder, I went straight to work (being the procrastinator I've become, I've been putting it off since her first post). I followed her directions on the post. But one of my lids is recycled from a past (unfinished project), the words Blessings Jar written on the top. I thought, even though it had been sterilized, it still had those "love" intentions in it, and I needed to use it on the Love jar. I think it'll just add to what's already in there.

I have a feeling, at first the I Hate You jar will be used most often (it's already had Caleb's angry feelings put into it twice). But I hope over time things will balance out a bit.

Now If someone will remind me on Saturdays to do an update post, I'll let you all know weekly how our experiment is going. (The visual of the jars on the counter will be a good remind to keep intentions in check, but probably not enough to keep me updating posts. Procrastinator level reaching new highs lately. LOL) I'll probably be doing more frequent updates via instagram (hashtag #iloveyouihateyouriceexperiment #riceexperiment).

Feel free to join us, and share links in the comments below!

Jumble

Somehow, somewhere, I lost my shaky handle on the house. As always we've slowly acquired lots of stuff. Papers, toys, clothes, shoes, toys, stuff. We're bursting at the seems. And no matter what I try and do it doesn't seem to disappear. I think I've scared away the House Elves. 

I have tossed a large bag of old shoes, donated a bag of out grown clothes, and put up a small bag of toys (to be rotated out in a few months), but it still doesn't seem like enough. In our attempt to declutter, and rearrange to better suit our needs, things were moved around, and we're now realizing to the wrong places. Like the board game tub, moved under the bathroom cupboard, seemed like the perfect place- out of the way, it fit perfectly. Prefect place- for the littlest two to get into and remove the contents. Oh so much fun for them. But the up side, I now know which games are missing pieces and can go. We still have so much to downsize, I need to let go of the sentimental attachments I'm finding I have.

Another piece to my day, our space (I touched base on this last week?), in need of a revamp, help, general overhaul- Homeschool. We need inspiration and organization. What was working in now getting stale, and I'm realizing I need to set up premade activities for the youngest two for school time. Busy boxes, toddler trays, work boxes, whatever you call them. I need to make them. For all of us. I keep putting off Spring break, thinking we're doing so little "actual school work" each day (you know proper book work, Math and science we've got), that a "break" seems like we're cheating. haha. 

But a good and proper break, may just be what we need. I need. To find our needs, my path, to get a handle on our jumbled home. I can't break down and buy all the cool things I'd love to set up work boxes, toddler trays, and the like, but I can try and make do with what I have and repurpose, rehome, things I have. And maybe it'll give me a bit more time for this.

And the wonderful thing about homeschool Spring break, we're going at it a little later, and the weather is perfectly spring like!

Love-Hate TV (We Watch Too Much)

We lived for a long while, when we first moved here, without television. Over a year. Just dvds to entertain us, a bit each day. Then we got Internet, and a Vudu (like Roku) box. With it we were able to subscribe to Netflix and Hulu. Our viewing habits increased some, but I still felt like we had a handle on it. Then we got a deal on cable Internet, with free cable the first month. Immediately our screen time EXPLODED! When the month was up, we had a choice to keep the cable or get rid of it. I'd come to appreciate some of the children's television we had access to- Netflix no longer had Nick shows, and limited Disney jr. shows. I liked how I could choose which shows we watched (on demand). I liked the variety. But I still was hating how much we were watching. It seemed to always.be.on.  And I hate having to pay for it.

I'm not an opponent of television. I think it has it's benefits. I get a break. The right shows do help my children learn. And I do like unwinding with a good escape show. And think the same can happen with children. Fantasy is good for the mind, in moderation. We are visual people. But it makes me a lazy parent. Causes arguments. And the background noise can wear on me quickly.

I want to unplug.

I want us to all learn moderation.

I want us to appreciate a good show, not just junk tv.

Now I need to get tough.

And come up with a plan.

And a goal, and start date.

And honestly, I'm just not sure I'm ready yet. (The yelling and tears x4.)

Someday I hope tv will not be an everyday thing in our home. But that's not today.

Thank you television for bringing us this blog post.

Running Low

(The above photos have nothing, and everything, to do with home school, they all show what we do at home, what we juggle daily.)

I love homeschooling, sometimes. But lately not so much. To be completely honest with you we're all struggling. And it feels a bit like we've been struggling the whole year. Lots of procrastination, lots of switching things up- trying to find things that work, and lots of ideas that don't seem to work. LOTS of web searches trying to find answers, solutions, inspiration.

Now I'm not saying this year has been a total bust, and I should probably cut myself some slack- it's only my second year with Owen (3rd grade), and the first with the girls (6th and 9th). And there's a learning curve I'm sure I still need to master. And a rhythm and groove we haven't found.  Things with Owen have been slow and steady, but we're hitting a road block and he is fighting me at every turn. The girls are still learning how to not be in school, and testing the limits on what they can get away with NOT doing. (Not the best idea for a high school-er, where her grades and transcripts matter if she wants to go on to college.)

We've gone through this pretty regularly since oh November, so it's not just Spring/cabin fever. I'm not sure if they feel as if they're struggling, and as the teacher, and the mom, the one who is held accountable, I sure am. Struggling with the decision, struggling with feelings of failure, struggling with what to do about it all.

Things I've tried, thought about, and wonder about-

curriculum from text books

curriculum from websites (the have it all ones)

units

self-directed learning

making my own curriculum 

letting go completely

unschooling

getting the kids involved in the process

what they "would/should" be learning in public school

concentrating on their interests

rewards/consequences for getting work done, in a timely matter

badgering, nagging, pleading, yelling, crying

Things I haven't tried, or am afraid to try-

unschooling

field trips

homeschool groups

letting go

Why I haven't for some of these- unschooling- because I know my kids and they would spend the time playing computer games all day long (and not the ones where they learn anything) or on facebook/quotev/rpg games. Because I'm not sure if they'll someday return to the public school scene and I don't want them to fall behind. Because I'm really not sure how to- they say kids are always learning, but learning skills that'll help them in life is questionable. I trust this thought process for younger children (kinder and under, maybe up to 1st/2nd grade), but after a certain age I don't know how they'd learn things like Algebra, advanced Biology or multiplication/division in everyday life. Maybe it's me, and I don't have enough interest to always sit and look the info up with my kids (interest, time, motivation, desire). I also feel it's incredibly important for them to learn to to the research/work- I love doing it myself, for my interests, and want them to be able to find it themselves.  Field trips- until recently there really hasn't been much to do around here, other than the library and a single state park, there was nothing for a good 45 minutes that, I feel, has any real learning value. Now we have Discovery Park of America, and I so want to take them, it's a real asset to home education and the community. BUT, yes I have a but as always, it's not affordable to us. For me and the payable (age wise) kids it'd cost us $75+ per visit, and a they don't have yearly passes for families- I'd have to buy individual passes for each, at a cost of $300+. Too much for our budget. Home school groups- now I'm not opposed to participating in one, or more, but there's only one in this area, and it's a Christian based one (for Pagans this is not attractive). Letting go- I'm responsible, as the teacher, the mother, the administrator, for their education, and that's a big thing. No one wants to raise children who can't contribute to society, who can't better their lives (past the parents' point).  It's a big weight on all parents shoulders, homeschoolers or not. So to completely let go and give up, would be irresponsible.

Why don't I just send them back to public school, this seems to overwhelm me so much?

For Owen, it's really not an option- the public schools can't, or won't, meet his needs (too advanced to be in special ed classes, behavioral issues they won't address, except with a paddle, and "not enough funds" to get him the support he needs). For the girls- I've been in middle school myself, watched my eldest 2 daughters struggle through it and don't want to put my youngest 2 daughter through it ever. And high school here has way too much to do with social lives than school. And really for both I don't want my girls to just learn how to take tests (standardized) but to learn to learn and love to learn! And I'm not a quitter, I have to try something through to the end, and find a successful (for me) way to meet my goal, I know I can do this. WE can do this, I just may need to stop putting the round peg in the square hole.

So what now?

Well today I don't honestly know. For today make it through the lessons and not give up. Not be beat down by the procrastination, the temper tantrums, the refusals. (Yes I'm guilty of giving up- I get overwhelmed by the opposition, and fighting, and don't, can't battle them, and myself sometimes, without throwing in the flag. I've been doing this a bit too often lately.) Keep looking for a solution. Maybe reach out and contact another homeschooling mom, that has experience, and insight I don't, for advice or ideas. And remember not to beat myself up too much.

And keep in the front of my mind THIS is important to me, to them. I want to enjoy it, I want them to enjoy it. We're new to this, and it's a learning curve. We have ups and downs. We WILL find our groove, what works for each of them, and we will make strides. Eventually. But it doesn't have to be today.